“As I describe these things and recount these memories, I don’t think it’s funny and I don’t enjoy it,” Leviss said, correcting the misnomer that she doesn’t take her past issues seriously.
Rachel “Raquel” Leviss explores why she laughs through her pain.
In response to fan criticism of her seemingly relaxed on-air demeanor, Vanderpump Rules alum, 29, invited psychologist Dr. Hillary Goldsher to the latest episode of her iHeartRadio podcast, Rachel goes rogueto discuss behavior.
“Listening to me, hearing me laugh especially about the Graham situation to me, it’s like it’s not funny, and I want to know why,” she explained, referring to custody of her dog with ex-fiancé James Kennedy. “Like what my body is doing without me even knowing?”
“Honestly, I’m excited to have a professional tell me why this is happening, because, yes, it’s not normal,” she added. “The average person does not laugh through their most painful traumatic memories.”
Rachel ‘Raquel’ Leviss owns her ‘Betrayal’ but wonders as she picks up the pieces: ‘Did he ever really love me?’
Rachel Leviss on Bravo 2022 October 15, 2022
Cindy Ord/Bravo via Getty Images
Leviss also corrected the misnomer that she disagrees with issues — including her affair with her ex VPR Costar Tom Sandoval — seriously.
“As I describe these things and recount these memories, I don’t think it’s funny and I don’t enjoy it, so I feel like the message maybe [is] get lost a little,” she added. “But when I talk to my family and close friends, I have a more serious demeanor and I don’t laugh through it.”
After discussing how her childhood may have led to this behavior, the former reality star admitted that it no longer serves her.
Rachel Leviss vows to be a ‘better friend’ in 2024 after ‘bad decisions’ led to Vanderpump Rules Affair
“I’m not doing well anymore,” she said. “Actually, I see it as protection for myself. And at the trauma center where I spent 90 days learning and doing intensive therapy, there’s a term called the ‘comfort wall’ and it’s a wall that you have that prevents you from being intimate with other people, and therefore you’re not as relational and human can’t connect with you on a deeper level. And that’s how I recognize that I have this ‘wall of comfort’ that I can’t help but show.”
Leviss also discussed her decision to end the relationship nearly 11 months after Sandoval split from his girlfriend of nine years, Ariana Madix, after Madix discovered his affair with Leviss.
“I don’t date for a year, and by doing that, I’m just focusing on myself and after this conversation, I’m focusing on my emotions that come up, like what are my own needs that I need to meet, and not adding another person to the equation, so it’s just focused on me and other people as well as my friends and family and the people that are in my inner circle that are sure friends,” she shared.
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From left: Ariana Madix, Tom Sandoval, Rachel Leviss.
Tammie/AFF-USA/Shutterstock; Cindy Ord/Bravo via Getty Images; Charles Sykes/Bravo via Getty Images
Leviss used her podcast, as well as her return to social media, to reflect on her past decisions and move forward. In an Instagram post on New Year’s Eve, The Vanderpump Rules alumna vowed that 2024 would be “epic” as she learned from her previous mistakes.
“2023 has been the hardest year yet,” Leviss wrote, adding a photo of herself. “My life had become completely unmanageable and I was so deep down the rabbit hole of making bad decisions that I NEEDED help.”
“I’m so blessed that I was able to get the help I needed,” she continued. “Now I finally feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.”
She went on to talk about her goals for the next year while also thanking her supporters. “As we set our intentions going into the new year, I promise to be a better friend to those close to me in my life,” Leviss said. “To those who stood by me in my darkest days, I will always remember and appreciate you.”
I am eternally grateful for a second chance, Leviss wrote. “Here’s to an epic 2024! 🦋”
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Vanderpump Rules season 11 premieres Tuesday, January 30 at 8:00 PM ET on Bravo.
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Source: HIS Education