Sara Haines Hit ‘Rock Bottom’ and Struggled to ‘Get Back to Myself’ After Daytime Show Cancellation

Sara Haines reflects on the dark times she lived behind the scenes, View.

The daytime co-host, 46, appeared on Behind the table podcast on Monday to talk with executive producer Brian Teta about the ups and downs of her career in daytime television. Haines said she hadn’t been on in two years View and the cancellation of her show with Keke Palmer and Michael Strahan were her low points.

“I was in a dark place and when you’re depressed, you can’t tell reality from your created narratives,” she explained.

Michael Strahan, Keke Palmer and Sara Haines. Lou Rocco/ABC

Haines said it was her time Strahan, Sara and Keke was turbulent because of what she was going through mentally. When the pandemic hit and the show was canceled, Haines said she was grieving “a dream I’ve always had.”

“Working with Michael Strahan and eventually Keke Palmer, I miss them all the time,” she revealed. “Laughter, joy, even the staff. But the show didn’t really stand a chance out of the gate. We all went through the whole thing.”

She continued: “Meanwhile I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant and I got really depressed, I had major postpartum depression trying to race back and save the sinking ship, which was our show, six weeks after the baby was born.”

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Haines admitted that she was “a wreck” and “really shocked” that the series is ending in 2020, despite knowing that it had not reached its full “potential”.

“I was grieving. It was a dream I had always dreamed,” she explained. “Behind the door, it was almost never like that, but I was so determined not to make a mistake and not let go, that they dragged me behind the car, metaphorically.”

While she became emotional, Haines explained that her tears on the subject were “because I remember so vividly how invisible I felt” and how “what was playing out in front of me and some of the stories [in the press] they are not what was happening [behind the scenes].”

“My friends who did my hair and makeup remember vividly, I don’t remember many days when I didn’t cry in my dressing room,” she added. “It was a tough time and again, no shade for any of the people. I worked with fun, amazing people and we had a lot of fun.”

Whoopi Goldberg, Sara Haines and Ana Navarro on ‘The View’.

Lorenzo Bevilaqua/ABC via Getty

When she was asked to return to View, still during the pandemic, Haines said she was “so grateful to be invited [back] because you don’t get two chances unless you’re Joy Behar.”

Still, she felt like a “shell of herself” compared to the years before when she was a co-housewife and struggled to bounce back, especially with the expectations she set for herself that she didn’t think she could meet.

“I was so tense that day that I didn’t know if I would remember how to do my job,” she admitted. “I became really invisible in those two years in my own mind, through depressions and all that. I couldn’t even tell you what my talent is. I didn’t even know how to do what I had been paid to do for years.”

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Teta cried, recalling how she was “shaking” the whole first day. Looking back, Haines said she appreciates the relationships she built with Palmer and Strahan, and the skills she brought from being on their show, because it helped her feel confident about returning to television.

“It was hard to kind of find myself again,” she said. “I would never change what happened because the valleys and the low points, for one thing, are not all bleak and scary and there were so many amazing moments.”

“All that and the skills it brought with me because I came to that dark place myself, I almost came back with a little bit of fearlessness,” she added.

Keke Palmer and Sara Haines.

Lou Rocco/ABC via Getty

Haines also noted that once she found her footing, she felt better than ever. She even said that people praised her newfound strength and resilience.

“I think a lot of it came from hitting rock bottom professionally,” she explained.

When Teta noticed it View has now been No. 1 for four seasons, and Haines credits her involvement in that, responding that she likes to “tell myself that too.” She added that her confidence has returned and that she no longer looks at dark times with disdain, but with gratitude for her growth.

“Still, how lucky am I? Those things don’t go into this business, and to go through all that, and then not know what’s next or coming?” she said from View. “It’s so amazing. It has range, it has perspective and different points of view and such different life perspectives. Where we all come from, our experiences, it’s a great table.”

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ABC News’ Behind the table it can be listened to wherever podcasts are broadcast. View airs weekdays on ABC (check local listings).

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