Shannen Doherty has been open about embracing her strength — and vulnerability — admitting she doesn’t always show her fears as she continues her cancer journey.
“Listen, I’m complaining. I just don’t complain in front of people,” Doherty said on Monday, in her final episode Let’s be clear podcast, where she was joined by her best friend, realtor Chris Cortazzo, for a wine-fueled conversation.
“I’m a person who cries alone in the closet.”
“Like me,” Cortazzo said.
“We’re very similar in that sense,” said the Beverly Hills, 90210 star. “It seems like we’re very strong and warriors and can get through anything, but we’re going to have breakdowns — but we’re in the closet and we hide our breakdowns. I certainly do. I’m not nearly as strong as humans…”
“You’re strong,” Cortazzo interrupted.
Shannen Doherty and her best friend, realtor Chris Cortazzo.
Shannon Doherty/Instagram
“I’m strong,” 52-year-old Doherty agreed. “I want to say that one hundred percent I have those moments where I feel all that and I want something different, right? I wish that wasn’t what I was dealing with in my life, but I always have to look at the other side and say, ‘Well, what else would you be dealing with? And would it be this impressive and meaningful?'”
“Obviously my biggest thing is that I just don’t want to die too soon because I have so much to accomplish, so it’s taxing my brain.”
Doherty was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. Since then, she has been open about her journey – from struggling with IVF to compiling her “bucket list”. And in a PEOPLE cover story in November, she revealed that the stage 4 cancer had spread to her bones.
Earlier in the podcast, Cortazzo praised Doherty for going public with her cancer journey.
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“My God, you’re amazing,” he said. “The encouragement you give to so many people.”
“You’re never a victim and that’s amazing, Shannen,” Cortazzo continued. “It only further strengthens the respect and love for you.”
“Everyone thinks strength is being stoic,” Doherty said. “What I have discovered, with your help, is that there is power in every tear that falls from my eye. That’s strength. The more I’m able to embrace my vulnerability and my fears, the stronger I become,” said Doherty, who recalled an emotional conversation with Cortazzo earlier when they both broke down and cried.
“None of us want to say goodbye to each other,” Cortazzo added.
Later in the podcast, the two best friends shared some dark humor when Doherty talked about her funeral and how, when she underwent surgery for a brain tumor last June, she started changing her will and making funeral plans because “I didn’t I didn’t think I would succeed.”
“Three people. Mama Rosa, me and Bowie,” Cortazzo joked, citing Doherty’s mother Rosa — and her German shepherd Bowie as the only invitees to her funeral.
“There’s a lot of people I think would show up that I don’t want there,” Doherty added. She and Cortazzo laughed, and Doherty continued, “They have their reasons and good for them. But they don’t really like me enough to show up at my funeral, but they do because it’s the politically correct thing to do and they don’t want to look bad.”
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“So I kind of want to take that pressure off them,” she added, joking that the list of people she doesn’t want at her funeral is “too long.”
Doherty, however, stressed that she was perfectly fine with her fans turning up, adding: “I want my funeral to be a celebration of love – I don’t want people to cry.”
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Source: HIS Education