Signs That Someone Is a Swinger

A non-judgmental overview of popular swinger symbols and codes

This article was co-authored by wikiHow writer Eric McClure. Eric McClure is an editor at wikiHow, where he has been editing, researching, and creating content since 2019. A former educator and poet, his work has appeared in Cancerogenic Poetry, Shot Glass Journal, Prairie Margins, and The Rusty Nail. His digital anthology, The Internet, was also published in TL;DR Magazine. He was the recipient of the 2014 Paul Carroll Award for Outstanding Achievement in Creative Writing and was a featured reader in the Poetry Foundation’s Open Door Reading Series in 2015. Eric holds a BA in English from the University of Illinois at Chicago and an MA in Secondary Education from DePaul University. There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of all facts cited and confirming the authority of its sources. Find out more…

Swingers, better known as couples who engage in consensual sex with other couples by switching partners, are often portrayed as wild and radical party animals that are all about free love—even if that’s not really the case. But since swinging is a bit of a taboo, swingers reportedly use a secret code to signal that they’re open to “playing” with other couples. But what are these codes and are they actually used? Here, we’ll cover the legitimate signs and tell you which ones are fake.

• The pineapple is the most common swinger sign – especially the upside down pineapple.
• Pampas grass leaves are a popular sign you’ll find in a swinger’s yard.
• A black ring on the right hand indicates that someone is a swinger.
• Flamingo is associated with rocking, primarily on cruise ships.
• Garden gnomes placed in suggestive positions could indicate swingers.
• White stones are a sign of a swinger in a community.

1. 

   Pineapple (especially upside down pineapple) We don’t know why, but it’s very likely that the pineapple’s status as an exotic fruit combined with the fact that the pineapple was a symbol of openness and hospitality in the mid-20th century led to the pineapple becoming a universal swinger. If any swinger symbol is real, it’s this one.[1]

   • Remember, even if someone has an upside-down pineapple-shaped home, you still can’t know for sure that they’re a swinger. Maybe they just like the weird fruit design!
   • Is this a popular sign? Yes, especially if the pineapple is upside down. This is simply the most common and legitimate symbol for a swinging pair.
   • Where would swingers put this symbol? Doormats, clothing, art, door knockers, tattoos, and really anywhere you’d ever want to advertise your lifestyle!

2. Pampas grass leaves The iconic pampas grass was a popular design element in the 1950s and 1960s. These dried leaves became less popular over time, but in the last 15-20 years they have seen a resurgence as a symbol for swingers.[2]

   • Living pampas grass seems to be less popular than dry leaves as a swinger symbol.
   • Is this a popular sign? Yes, it seems to be used a lot these days. Considering how unpopular pampas grass has become in the last 5 years (sales are down about 50%), people who purposely point out pampas leaves are probably sending a signal on purpose.[3]

   • Where would swingers put this symbol? In the front yard, garden or on clothes.

3. Black ring on right hand This symbol was first featured on the Swap Fu Podcast, a podcast about open marriages. The idea is that the black ring on the right finger is unusual enough to work as a good secret code, but not so obvious and inexplicable that you can’t write it off as a fashion choice if you don’t want someone to think you were a swinger.[4]

   • Just for your information, the black ring on the middle finger of the right hand is occasionally worn as a symbol of asexuality, so knowledgeable swingers will not use that finger.[5]
   • Is this a popular sign? That. This is a newer codex, but it is quickly becoming popular with swingers. However, there are many people who like to wear rings, so you can’t assume that a black ring on the right hand makes someone a swinger (which is kind of the point!).
   • Where would swingers put this symbol? On the right, obviously! All kidding aside, this ring won’t show up on clothes or anything. It is only used as jewelry.

4. Pink flamingos Pink flamingos probably became a symbol for swingers because they are closely associated with the environment (and interior design styles) where you will encounter palm leaves and pineapples. However, for reasons unclear, it also seems uniquely popular to use pink flames as a swinger symbol when swinger couples go on cruises.[6]

   • Is this a popular sign? That. Enough swingers have cited it as a symbol of their lifestyle that it seems relatively common. However, it is not as popular as other symbols, and a random flamingo is more likely to be harmless than, for example, an upside-down pineapple.
   • Where would swingers put this symbol? On cruise ships you will see a flamingo on the door or on the clothes. Elsewhere you can see them on clothing. It doesn’t seem very common to put flamingos in the yard as a sign of swinging, but it is possible.

5. Garden gnomes (especially if they are suggestively placed) This is probably the least likely symbol to represent a swinging couple, but it may be a subtle code that some people use. However, as stated in the explanation, this one only works if the gnomes are suggestively placed or hidden behind a rose bush.[7]

   • Is this a popular sign? Probably not. It appears that this may have been a common system in the past, but swingers no longer seem to claim it as such.
   • Where would swingers put this symbol? Front lawn. That’s part of the problem with this secret symbol though, garden gnomes are common enough among die-hard monogamists that it seems like a difficult system to have any effectiveness.

1. 

   White landscape rocks It seems that there is one gated community in Virginia where couples would use white stones to signify that they are open to sexual experimentation.[8]
   However, it is the only place where the use of the white rock symbol is confirmed, which makes sense given how popular white rocks are for landscaping.[9]

   • what is the story Allegedly, it was rumored in the military bases that all the white rock buildings were places where men and women would meet to please each other when their partners were deployed. Over time, that rumor became an urban legend.

2. Hot tubs Some imaginative people out there are convinced that an outdoor hot tub means swingers live there. No dice – a hot bath in the backyard is common, regardless of one’s sexual preferences.

   • what is the story Swingers often take a hot tub together to socialize and have a drink before “getting down to business.” This story probably got its legs from the hot tubs that were popular among hippies and Californians in the mid-1900s, which middle America associated with sexual freedom.[10]

3. Bracelets, bangles, thumb and toe rings There are all kinds of jewelry designs and jewelry sites that are supposedly associated with the swinger lifestyle, but we can’t find a ton of evidence (besides the black ring on the right hand) that any of it is legit.

   • what is the story This is probably a byproduct of a modern company, Swinger Symbol, which sells distinctive swing symbol jewelry.

4. Loofahs tied to the car This is a “newer” code and is supposedly exclusive to Florida retirement communities, but it’s not actually the symbol that swingers use.[11]

   • what is the story Reportedly, some retirement communities tie colorful loofahs to their car to show what a swinger they are so retired couples can find other couples to swing with. It turns out that some retirees just use loofahs to help them find their car if they forget where they parked.[12]

Categories: How to
Source: HIS Education