I will never forget our sweet meeting. She was wearing braces. I wore a bob weave like Rihanna from the “Umbrella” era. I was two weeks into my gig as a production assistant at a national music station and I followed a VJ hopeful to the biggest audition of her life. We were both nervous newbies walking the halls of our dream career destination. We didn’t know it on that walk, but the two of us would become best friends, “work wives” if you will, and carry each other through the highs (chatting backstage with Lady Gaga, getting paid to talk about music, dancing at our desks) and the lows ( general anxiety before live TV, horrible bosses, the impending end of music TV) of our jobs for years to come. Think Jane, Sutton and Kat Bold type but with less glamor and more polish.AdvertisementADVERTISEMENTLike Bold type, we were a group of women (and a few men) in our early 20s working in the trenches of a dying medium whose relationships stretched beyond our proverbial cubicle walls. Weekdays (and sometimes weekends) of whispering vents, telling glances, and giving advice made our startups more bearable and definitely more fun. We were allies, confidants and partners in ambition. It felt like a success. The average Aussie spends more than 30 hours a week at work (back then it was more like 50 to 60 for us), and work friendships are essential to making that time more enjoyable – and even more productive. According to statistics and experts, a business BFF makes you better at your job and is essential to a healthy work environment. A global study by Workplace Trends found that 60% of employees surveyed in 10 countries said they would be more inclined to stay at their company longer if they had more friends. And two-thirds of women say socializing is the “main reason” they work. “Many of us spend more time with our work families than with our families at home,” says Dr. Joti Samra, a Vancouver psychologist and founder of My Workplace Health, a national online resource for mental health and workplace safety. Samra says studies show that people who have friends at work are 27% more likely to say they feel their work is important and that they are happiest when socializing at work. “We can go through enormous adversity, stress, trauma [at work] but if we have strong social support, we can not only survive but also thrive,” she says.AdvertisementADVERTISEMENT”
We can go through enormous adversity, stress, trauma [at work]but if we have strong social support, we can not only survive but also thrive.
“That’s the case with Tim Chan, an editor who emailed me after a night out with a colleague. “It helps to have someone who can relate to your daily life,” he wrote. “My partner might be supportive, but if he doesn’t work with me or if he doesn’t ‘get’ my work, it’s hard for him to understand what I’m going through. Having a friend at work gives you someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to chat with, and above all, someone who can empathize with your thoughts and opinions.” But that kind of connection is something many young people are missing out on. Many young people, especially after the pandemic with hybrid work arrangements, find it difficult to make professional friendships. The lack of these meaningful work friendships may be related to the dissatisfaction we feel with our occupations. And the more companies rely on digital interaction instead of face-to-face communication, the more isolated and disengaged employees feel, according to the Workplace Trends study. Stress and anxiety have a lot to do with the lack of work friendships among younger generations, says friendship expert and author Shasta Nelson, but it’s also about the changing economy. I am one of the few millennials who has worked for the same company for almost a decade. “We’re seeing a lot more loneliness at a younger age, and in the workplace it comes down to the fact that they don’t see themselves as being in that job that long,” says Nelson. “So if you change jobs often, you won’t be there long enough to build deeper friendships.” And for freelancers or those who work from home, it takes extra effort to seek out opportunities to make professional connections. Advertisement ADVERTISEMENT
We are witnessing a lot more loneliness at a younger age, and in the workplace it boils down to the fact that they don’t see themselves as staying at that job that long.
“Deeper friendships are not only associated with job stability, but can also result in a greater sense of accomplishment. Food blogger and cookbook author Lauren Toyota (a former colleague of mine) also met her best friend at work and says she owes her career to their relationship. “It was hard work with a lot of emotions! It was nice to have someone who knew the real me to keep things in perspective,” says Toyota. “She was my makeup artist and sitting in her chair every day was basically a form of therapy. I’m not sure how successful I would be without her.” Success and friendship at work go hand in hand regardless of race, but it’s no coincidence that Lauren and Natalie are women of color. Having an ally when you feel “alone” at work is imperative. According to the Women in the Workplace study, women of color are underrepresented in professional settings, have a harder time advancing, and are less likely to receive support from their managers. At my last job, I had a group chat we called “The Minority Report” consisting of three other people of color who worked on my team. In the chat, we would complain about micro-aggressions that came up in meetings, share concerns about our work culture and just sent funny memes. Those messages were my lifeline on days when my “oneness” as the only black woman felt like it was holding me back from my success or when it kept me from speaking up for myself. ADVERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT “Having like-minded friends on it’s not just the perspective of dealing with the stress of being a minority in the work situation that helps the business,” says therapist and relationship expert Miriam Kirmayer. “Those friends are there to remind us to do our best. Women — especially women of color — who feel more socially connected tend to feel more comfortable asserting themselves.””
Women — especially women of color — who feel more socially connected tend to feel more comfortable asserting themselves.
“There are a lot of positives to cultivating friendships at work, but the experts I spoke to all agreed that there need to be boundaries — mostly, don’t date your co-workers. For Lisa French, brand director at a creative agency, maintaining those boundaries cost her the best at work, but she got a husband – real husband. “We used to work in the same agency, and he was completely my business husband; we would drink coffee every day and write silly e-mails to each other,” she says. “When we actually started dating, we quickly realized it would be weird, so he found a new job a few months later.” Another danger of friendships in the workplace: relationships are difficult to manage when friends are at different places on the scale. “What we usually see are friends at work who have that lateral experience where they’re in the same position in the hierarchy,” says Kirmayer. But when it comes to friendships with management, she says those relationships could even hinder career development. “Maybe it will be difficult to give our boss impartial feedback that we need to grow professionally if he is also our friend.”AdvertisementADVERTISEMENTDr. Samra says good bosses know how to draw the line between approachable and inappropriate. “Your boss may not be your best friend at work, but the best leaders are still friendly and don’t have that rude, stepmotherly management style,” she says. “It’s the opposite of what works.” Ultimately, whether you’re your boss or your best friend, workplace friendships are key to maintaining a healthy work environment, avoiding loneliness, and especially continuing career advancement for women. The non-experts I spoke with for this feature are people I met at my first paid gig. We remained friends for 10 years and each of them guided me through business wins and losses, career highs and lows, and most importantly, made work feel less like work.Want more? Get the best stories from Refinery29 Australia delivered to your inbox every week. Apply here! AdvertisementADVERTISEMENTRelated StoriesIn the era of hybrid work, are there friendships? 10 Common Things That Seriously Irritate Your Boss6 Women Share The Time They Fell In Love With A Coworker
Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education