“Now I live my whole life so scared.”
These are just some of the feelings Chrissy Teigen shared in a candid new message with her followers, where she opened up about her fear of life, being a “shrink version” of herself and the “dark” times she’s been through recently.
In a May 24 Instagram post, the 38-year-old model and cookbook author documented herself stepping over the log, along with an emotional message — a lengthy caption about what the transition helped her realize.
“I did this log crossing a few years ago the last time I came here, when I was struggling mentally. It was incredibly difficult then,” she wrote. “My feet weighed 1,000 pounds each, my body tensed up to the point where I felt like I was in a crash after I got off.”
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The mum-of-four said she thought it would be “so different this time”, noting: “While I’m still struggling mentally, I thought I could ease the pain by relaxing my body, breathing and just soaking in and enjoying what he was doing.”
“But the plot!! It was just as hard,” she wrote. “I lost a bit of time, but what I love about this is how much it surprises you and how much you learn about yourself.”
Teigen said she “thought I’d be fearless in this damn thing, seeing as I’ve seen times that were so dark since the last time I did this.” Instead, she wrote, “I’m still so scared.”
“That’s when I realized I’ve been living so scared my whole life now,” said the star (who has children Luna, 8, son Miles, 6, Esti, 16 months, Wren, 11 months, with husband John Legend).
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Chrissy Teigen.
Paul Morigi/Getty
“I don’t enjoy much outside of my family, my few friends, television and craft,” Teigen continued. “I feel like a very diminished version of myself. And I know I’m destined to be great.”
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The TV personality then addressed her fans and followers directly, saying that she is “very afraid of letting you down.”
“… I myself fight with myself all day in my brain with things I want to say, things I want to explain, but I’m just afraid,” she continued. “I’m missing so many parts of me and I hope one day I can let go of some fear and accept that I will never be perfect for you guys and that’s okay!!”
“But for now,” she added, “I will continue to work on all of this and try to balance my brain with rational thoughts, and try to be kind to myself, my body and my mind. And I will always continue to wander aimlessly in the subtitles.”
If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the text crisis line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education