DEAR DEIDRE: I got the shock of my life when I caught my mother messing around with her secret lover.
I am a 31-year-old man and I am married with a three-year-old daughter.
My parents seemed happily married and I assumed they were looking forward to retirement.
My mom is 58 and my dad is 59.
Mom has good friends, and one of them from her fitness class is her best friend. She is single and younger than her mother, she is 55 years old.
They go away for a lot of weekends together and I never suspected anything.
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For dad’s birthday, mom organized a fishing trip to Scotland.
The plan, as far as I knew, was for mom to travel with him, but to stay with relatives.
But at the last minute she told her dad that she felt bad. So he traveled there alone.
But I didn’t know – when I walked into the house to get our bikes that we keep in their garage, I was horrified to see my mom with her friend.
Her friend was in bed and mom was coming out of the bathroom naked – both of them looking completely shocked to see me.
Mom immediately started apologizing and begging me to keep their secret. She later admitted that she always felt bisexual, but that she married my dad because she loved him.
I told my wife, and she says that mother is asking too much of me. My dad has a heart problem and I don’t want to tell him, but now I can’t even look at my mom.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your mom burdened you with her guilty secret, which isn’t fair.
You could talk to your father, but he might be embarrassed that his son had to point out something that he should have understood.
Maybe he already suspects that your mother is having this affair, but ignores it, hoping it will end soon. So if you tell him, you will take away his coping strategy.
Find some time to talk to your mother again and insist that she decide what she wants to do.
Recommend that she talk to a counselor to get this right and insist that she tell your father if their marriage is over.
You would also benefit from talking to someone removed from this situation. You can find a qualified therapist for both through the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883300).
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education