James Middleton Says He 'Pushed' Family Away During Dark Time When He Almost Took His Own Life

James Middleton opens up about his mental health and describes a period when he was “unavailable” to his “loving and close” family.

In an excerpt from his forthcoming memoir Meet Ella: The dog that saved my lifein the edition Daily Mail On September 14, the 37-year-old brother of Kate Middleton wrote about a time a few years ago when he felt “suicidal” and that life was “no longer worth living.”

“I think of ways to die to get off the dizzying roller coaster that sends me to the brink of insanity. I can’t sleep because my mind is in turmoil,” he wrote in the book, due out in September. 24 in the US

“Insomnia is dizzying. I’m utterly exhausted. I feel misunderstood; a total failure. I wouldn’t wish a feeling of worthlessness and despair, isolation and loneliness on my worst enemy. I think I’m going crazy.”

“I know I’m privileged though; I’m also lucky to have a close and loving family – mum and dad, my sisters Catherine and Pippa, their husbands William and James – but I push them all away,” James, the Princess of Wales’ younger brother, it continues. “I don’t answer their phone calls. Emails go ignored. Calls to visit go unheeded. I hide behind double-locked doors, inaccessible.”

James Middleton attends the opening of the 200th Burlington Christmas at Burlington Arcade on November 12, 2019.

David M. Bennett/Dave Bennett/Getty

James Middleton Announces New Memoir About Beloved Dog Ella—and the Story He’s Included to Share with His Son

James then reflected on the night in November 2017 when he hit “rock bottom” — as he considered “jumping off the roof” of a building in London.

“I wonder, if I jump, could it be interpreted as a tragic accident? That way my family, although they would be grieving desperately, would be spared the additional torture of knowing that I ended my life by suicide,” he continued. adding that someone watched him in the harrowing moment while standing on the roof.

“As I walk, I look down through the skylight and see the gentle eyes of my spaniel, Ella, looking up at me. Like me, she’s been up all night. She senses my strange, agitated state of mind.”

As he wrote in the excerpt, he then saw his dog “begging me with his eyes to come down” from the ladder and wondered what life would be like if he and the spaniel didn’t have each other. After an hour of pacing, he wrote, Ella still “didn’t move.”

“I pull myself off the edge, slowly climb down the ladder and pet Ella’s silky head. She’s the reason I didn’t take that fatal leap,” James wrote. – She is Ella, the dog that saved my life.

Alizee Middleton and James Middleton attend the lighting of Bulgari’s iconic Serpenti Christmas lights on November 12, 2021 in London, England.

David M. Bennett/Dave Bennett/Getty

James Middleton appeals for help to stranger living through his ‘worst nightmare’

James said Meet Ella back in March, noting in an Instagram video where he proudly held the first manuscript that he and his dog were “inseparable for 15 years” before her death in 2023.

“I know many of you have your own Ellas or may need one. I hope this book will also help us talk more openly about our mental health, our need for connection, and how the animals we think we care for actually care for us in return,” he said at the time.

Ella died in January 2023 after a “short illness”, James revealed at the time.

As he said Tatlerthe dog was there for “so many important moments in my life,” including when he met his wife, Alizee Thevenet. The couple, who are pet parents to six other dogs, announced the birth of son Inigo in October 2023, less than a year after Ella’s death.

“Another reason I wanted to write this book was to be able to tell Inigo the story of how I met his mother,” James told the publication, and the story is that his dog ran up to Thevenet in a restaurant.

“My hope is that by writing this book I will help other people talk about their mental health – whether their difficulties are in the past or something they are currently experiencing,” James later said. Tatler.

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the text crisis line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.

Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education