Five years ago, Julie Chen Moonves reluctantly left Conversation after her husband Les Moonves was accused of sexual harassment and assault by 12 women.
The But first, God the author, 53, decided to stand by her husband since 2004. She started using her married name when she sang Big Brother and released a statement in light of the allegations calling the former CBS executive, 73, “a kind, decent and moral human being.”
Chen Moonves tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue, “I never took his last name when he was running the media company I worked for, where it could have been intimidating. It was kind of gross, but legally, I was ‘Julie Chen Moonves,’ and I thought, ‘OK, now that name isn’t so popular, now I’m taking it.'”
Julie Chen Moonves says it wasn’t her decision to leave ‘The Talk’: ‘I felt stabbed in the back’
Monty Brinton/CBS via Getty
At that time, Chen Moonves thought that her break was from Conversation it would only last a few days or weeks.
“But then when I watched [season] prime minister and I saw what was said, it became so clear to me as, I can never go back“, she recalls. “It was like watching my own funeral.”
After she left, “I felt lost, angry and confused and just lost,” adds Chen Moonves. “I didn’t know what to do next. I just felt like I wanted some answers and I didn’t know what to do with myself.”
Julie Chen emotionally discusses leaving ‘The Talk’ following husband Les Moonves’ ouster from CBS
Chen Moonves desperately wanted her personal life to stop being in the headlines.
“There were too many rumors about me moving out and leaving my family. That was not true,” she says. “They had pictures of moving boxes, but it was like we were coming back to our house because we got some work done [on] it. I just wanted all the speculation and false reports to stop.”
Matthew Simmons/FilmMagic
Sharon Osbourne ‘respects’ former ‘Talk’ co-host Julie Chen for ‘Standing by’ husband Les Moonves
During this difficult period, Chen Moonves developed a relationship with God. But she credits her resilient relationship with Moonves, not God, for supporting them through that time. (Last November, Moonves had to pay $2.5 million to CBS shareholders who New York Attorney General Letitia James believed were initially kept in the dark about the allegations against him — even though he has never admitted any wrongdoing.)
“We have such a strong bond,” says Chen Moonves. “We leaned on each other and knew that nothing could break us. It was our love and our foundation that got us through.”
Chen Moonves continued to host Big Brother because “it’s not a show where you deal with your personal life,” she explains. “It’s not about me, it’s about the guests, and I’m just the host.”
For more on Julie Chen Moonves, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribe here.
Julia Chen Moonves’ audio memoir, ‘But First, God’.
Simon & Schuster audio originals
While Chen Moonves says in her audio memoir, “I was collateral damage” for her husband’s mistakes, she reveals that her problems with Conversation before 2018. She felt betrayed when her co-host Leah Remini and some other colleagues went to CBS and told the network they wouldn’t work with Chen Moonves because they thought she was too uptight. As a result, Chen Moonves kicked out Remini (53) for years.
“At the time, it felt like a betrayal,” says Chen Moonves.
Chen Moonves admits she apologized to Remini a year later, but the mom of 13-year-old son Charlie didn’t feel ready to get back together until she started her walk with God.
“She has such a big heart,” says Chen Moonves Fr King of Queens star. “She is one of the funniest people I know and is very passionate about her beliefs. She is a good person.”
Chen Moonves, who was baptized in 2022 and now belongs to five churches, believes her story serves as proof that “it’s never too late for anyone to begin a personal relationship with God,” she says. “Once you do this, you will have a peace that passes all understanding. You are not alone.”
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Source: HIS Education