There are so many stories that we know for sure to be true.
Keith Moon, from The Who, crashed his Rolls-Royce into a swimming pool.
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Jeremy says there were a lot of ‘made up stories’ about his time hosting Top Gear with James May and Richard HammondCredit: Getty – Contributor
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Jeremy and the Top Gear crew were hit with rumors that he had inspected the Tesla before driving it and that the fault on the show had been made up Credit: BBC
Keith Richards of the Stones sniffed his father’s ashes, thinking they were something else.
And John Bonham from Led Zeppelin once used a fish he caught as a sex toy.
The only trouble is that they are urban myths. These are all decorations.
Which is a polite way of saying they’re all made up.
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Then you have the well-known story that Bon Jovi had written in their rider that they wanted all blue M&M shirts removed from their wardrobes.
That’s not true either. It was Van Halen.
And it wasn’t the blue M&M’s they wanted to remove. They were the brown ones.
Urban myths persist even today.
We are told over and over again that Donald Trump wears diapers. So it must be a fact.
And we also know that Joe Biden once soiled himself while talking to the Pope.
I’m going to miss this,’ says an emotional Jeremy Clarkson in the new trailer for the epic final episode of The Grand Tour
Is it? Yes, because everyone says so.
The problem is that everyone says that an Englishman climbed Mount Everest first.
And that the Vikings wore horned helmets, and that Christopher Columbus discovered America.
But none of these things are remotely true.
All of which brings me to a fascinating interview this week in which American podcast legend Joe Rogan spoke to former Top Gear host Chris Harris.
Chris opened up about the Freddie Flintoff accident and what the months that followed were like for the cast.
And I have to say, it was an amazing listen.
People still believe, for example, that we deliberately made the H982 FKL license plate in Argentina.
But then the story turned to the story that I wrote a road test of the first Tesla before I drove it.
And that the breakup we showed on television was made up.
There are many fictional stories about what happened when I hosted Top Gear.
People still believe, for example, that we deliberately made the H982 FKL license plate in Argentina.
And in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.
But I sense something is off when Joe and Chris perpetuate the myth that my Tesla road test was unfair.
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Keith Moon of The Who is said to have driven a Rolls-Royce into the pool Credit: Getty
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Keith Richards of the Stones sniffed his father’s ashes, thinking it was something else… so the urban myth goes Credit: Getty – Contributor
And the fact is that Elon Musk sued the BBC on this issue and lost. He also lost his appeal.
I know no one believes me.
The same way no one believes Mick Fleetwood when he claims he never snorted cocaine off Eric Clapton’s dog’s back.
But it’s true.
On Top Gear we’ve rebelled and upset a lot of people over the years.
But our road tests were always scrupulously fair.
SCIENTISTS announced this week that they have developed a type of fat that makes skin temporarily transparent.
yes Now you can be an invisible man.
Doctors are very excited, saying it will give them insight into the human body, but there are other applications, such as when a woman asks you out in a pub. And you are gone.
Ange can just relax for all I care
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Both Finland’s Prime Minister Sanna Marin and the UK’s Deputy Prime Minister seem to have enough energy to party
DEPUTY Prime Minister Angela Rayner has been heavily criticized this week after footage emerged of her dancing in an Ibiza nightclub.
Many pointed out that in times of great austerity (unless you are a train driver) you should be at work, not throwing shapes on the Spanish dance floor.
I don’t agree with that. Politicians are allowed free time.
Besides, if he’s in a nightclub, that means he’s not in his office, dreaming of yet another socialism he’s going to impose on us all.
I wish she, and Sir Starmer for that matter, were away a lot more – 52 weeks a year would be fine with me.
But what confuses me about the recording is that she was at work all day, flew to Ibiza and headed to the nightclub where it was filmed at four in the morning.
Hmmm. I don’t know about you, but if I’ve had a full, regular, hard day at work, I come home, have a glass of wine and get high around ten.
I certainly don’t have the energy to get on a plane to Ibiza and go clubbing until the wee hours.
Which brings us to Sanna Marin.
Two years ago, the then Prime Minister of Finland was filmed dancing at a private party and was forced to take a drug test under public pressure.
She passed, of course, and I’m sure Mrs. Rayner would too.
Errors are below optimal
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The odd plot hole is justified when it comes to Bruce Willis in Armageddon, above Credit: Alamy
IF the movie is good enough, we’ll all tolerate the odd gaping plot hole.
For example, Armageddon, where the radio didn’t work when Bruce Willis was supposed to be cut off, and then miraculously worked again when he needed to talk to his daughter.
Or that door in the Titanic that was apparently big enough for Rose and Jack.
Or the gravity in Gravity, which somehow materialized to ensure George Clooney’s death.
The list goes on.
But this week it reached new heights.
As I enjoy anything with a submarine, I sat down in a state of glee to watch a Japanese mini-series called The Silent Service.
Where I was expected to believe that the government in Tokyo did not know if one of its submarines carried nuclear weapons.
I’m afraid I switched off after two episodes and re-watched The Shawshank Redemption, pretending not to notice that Andy Dufresne couldn’t possibly reattach that poster after climbing headfirst into his narrow tunnel.
007? Do not try again with Dr
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For those who didn’t notice – James Bond was blown to smithereens at the end of No Time To DieCredit: Film Company
ALL week people have been wondering what happened to James Bond.
They said that it had been three years since his last performance and that there was still no script, budget or replacement for Daniel Craig.
Well, here’s the thing, folks.
If you’re all 007 fans, you must have noticed that at the end of the latest film, Bond – how can I say it? – died.
So unless the next movie opens with a dreamy shower scene, which would never work, we’ll have to accept that the franchise is over.
I read the Grenfell fire report with great interest.
And I’ve listened to various politicians solemnly clamor that it will never happen again.
Really? I only ask because I am writing this in my flat in London, which is in a building that has cladding that is considered unsafe.
And I’m not alone.
Thousands of others are in the same boat.
I’m sorry, Mr. Starmer, but it could happen again.
A real mess at Eton
SEVEN years ago, David Goode, an organist and music teacher at a premier farm – called Eton – was alerted to the nature of his online searches of the school’s computer system.
But apparently the warning didn’t work as it turned out that four years later he was still at it, gleefully looking for “cute Thai guys” and “gay guys” and “Algerian gay guys”.
It makes you wonder.
Was he an organist or an onanist?
Whatever, he’s now banned from teaching for life.
And a good thing.
I would not want my children to be taught by someone so stupid that they used the school’s monitored IT system to search for pornographic images of boys.
Even when he knew his bosses were following him.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education