A woman’s family is at loggerheads after her sister shared the rules for Thanksgiving dinner. The woman, 32, made a post on Reddit asking for advice about the “still confused” situation.
“I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for my family every year since I moved into my house five years ago. It’s always a bit messy and chaotic, but that’s part of the charm, isn’t it?” she writes.
But this year, her 29-year-old sister “decided she wanted to ‘help bring some order’ to the reunion,” the poster says. “At first I thought she was just thinking about coordinating who would bring which dishes or help with cleaning. Instead, she showed up at my house last week with printed copies of what she called the ‘Family Code of Conduct.'”
Spread for Thanksgiving dinner (photo).
Getty
She “insisted” that everyone read and sign them before attending. The code includes “a rule against ‘overlapping conversation’ at the table, with suggestions for taking turns like a ‘respectable debating club’ ” and “a ban on political or controversial topics,’ with her as the final arbiter of what was too hot,” the poster reads.
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The sister also wants a “smart casual” dress code because “vacation photos should reflect well on the family” and assign seats based on “optimal personality compatibility”.
“She was completely serious,” writes the woman. “When I laughed and said, ‘You’re not serious,’ she accused me of ‘not taking seriously her efforts to improve the family dynamic.’ I told her I wasn’t going to enforce a code of conduct in my house and that if she wanted to micromanage Thanksgiving, she could host it herself.”
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Thanksgiving turkey (photo).
Getty
When her sister doubled in size, the woman canceled Thanksgiving. Now, her mom thinks she should satisfy her sister, while their 35-year-old brother says he won’t come if the code exists.
“I’m torn,” she writes. “Was I wrong to stand my ground or should I have let her run the day to keep the peace?”
Commenters are on the poster’s side. “Just host your brother,” writes one. “Tell everyone else they’re free to go to your sister’s house if they’re happy with the code of conduct. However, you will not be the host.” Someone else adds, “You can even sign a declaration of independence for Thanksgiving, declaring that you’re free from trying to micromanage to make a signature family dinner.”
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Thanksgiving meal on the table (photo).
Getty
Another commenter shared, “I’m with your brother. This is why I would skip Thanksgiving. If he wants to be the police for Thanksgiving, he can try that in his own house.”
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One person writes: “Never do anything to ‘keep the peace’. It just leads to more problems in the future…Thanksgiving is stressful enough without the BS rules.”
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Still, some wonder if something happened last year that the sister is now asking for these rules, and if the poster diminishes the “choas” of her family gathering. “Be polite, no politics and dress nice doesn’t sound like a crazy ‘rule’ to me,” the commenter notes. Another adds: “Would LOVE to see the sister’s side of this.”
Categories: Trends
Source: HIS Education