Mom Leaves Teenage Stepdaughter Out of Disney Plans to Avoid Her 'Ruining the Trip with Complaints'

A mum-of-four is facing scrutiny after deciding not to take her stepdaughter on a big Disney vacation.

In a post shared on Reddit “Am I A——?” subreddit earlier this week, a user with the username D-Hearing228 opened up about the strained relationship she has with her 16-year-old stepdaughter, who left the teenager behind when she brought the other kids on a Disney vacation.

According to the original poster (OP), she has one child from a previous relationship, two children from her husband’s previous relationship, and one child with her husband. She and her husband, both 41, “have always treated the children as equally as possible” when it comes to family vacations, she says.

The problem she has is with her teenage stepdaughter, who “really doesn’t like anything other people do. Or she’ll like it until someone else does.”

For example, “She really wanted to go on a winter trip to Colorado to ski. None of the other kids were that excited, but since it’s hard to find things she likes, we went. She was excited until the other kids started enjoying themselves and that, then she wanted to leave,” writes a Reddit user.

“This is pretty much what happens when we go on trips to the zoo, museums, whatever,” she continues. “And if other people are already happy about it, she immediately hates the idea.”

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‘My stepdaughter doesn’t really like anything other people do. Or she’ll like it until someone else does,’ writes a Reddit user.

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According to the OP, she and her husband, as well as the 16-year-old’s mother, have tried to bond with her better, taking her to a counselor and trying to help her find activities she truly enjoys, but to no avail.

“We thought maybe she just wanted time with each parent alone. So we did that with her mom and dad, too. She was still complaining all the time,” he says. “Her counselor said she might want activities with both parents to show they get along. They’ve done that, but if they show any enjoyment, she hates whatever they do. She and I have girls’ days with her mom and she hates it.”

“We found that the less enthusiastic we are, the more she wants to do it,” the user writes. “This also applies to meals. If someone else likes something, she finds a way to criticize it. It’s like she can’t let anyone else enjoy anything.”

The user explained that she and her husband have tried many solutions to help her stepdaughter enjoy the trip better, including letting her choose locations or telling her to bring a friend — but those strategies have yet to work.

“If she sees that someone likes something she chose, she complains and says it was her idea as if no one else can enjoy it,” the user writes.

Matt Stroshane/Walt Disney World Resort via Getty

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All these struggles came to a head when the family decided to plan a trip to Disney. The choice was inspired by the OP’s nephew, who has cancer and “always wanted to go with us, because he doesn’t have any siblings and he doesn’t have many friends because he missed a lot of school.”

“[My stepdaughter] she said it was stupid as soon as everyone else wanted to go,” she says, noting that her husband decided to miss the trip because he was busy with work. “I made reservations for myself, my sister, my nephew and our three children, deciding [my stepdaughter] she can stay with dad because she didn’t want to go anyway.”

She says she asked her stepdaughter multiple times if she wanted to join them on the trip so she would have a chance to change her mind.

Now, the user says her husband is accusing her of being cruel for leaving the teenager.

“My husband says [I’m the a——] because I don’t plan for her to come either, but I don’t want her to ruin the trip with complaints because my nephew is there,” she claims.

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In the end, the Reddit community was almost unanimous in saying that this mother of four wasn’t “a——” for her decision to leave the 16-year-old behind, but many people shared in the responses that they were concerned about the teenager’s mental health.

“NTA,” wrote one user. “I would just advise you, your partner and the child’s mother to focus more on treating her mental health because this sounds very pathological to say the least.”

The original poster replied: “We had the same concerns and thankfully she is participating in counseling, although there has been no progress that we can see.”

“Sounds like he’s struggling to find his individuality,” chimed in another user. “I wasn’t this extreme, but I definitely thought I was unique if I liked things that people weren’t keen on or didn’t know about and it was special. I didn’t want to like the same things as everyone else either.

“You’re doing a great job trying to help her figure it out, sharing time and activities with all the parents,” the reply continued. “I think not taking her is the perfect solution for everyone, you deserve to enjoy any vacation, but especially an expensive one, I wouldn’t risk her upset you. My advice is to ignore her immediately when she starts grumbling. Keep having fun and let it go is to learn to join.”

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Source: HIS Education