To the unwitting outside world, Richard and Sheree Spencer looked like they had the perfect life.
Three beautiful daughters, a seven-bedroom house in the countryside near York and a Jaguar parked in the driveway.
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Richard Spencer shares his story of his abuse hell Credit: Channel 5
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A judge described Sheree Spencer’s behavior as ‘the worst case of controlling and coercive behavior’ she had ever seen Credit: Channel 5
But behind closed doors, Richard, 47, was secretly suffering from what a judge would later describe as “the worst case of controlling and coercive behavior” she had ever seen.
During her 20-year reign of terror, sadistic Sheree, 46, repeatedly threatened to go to the police claiming her helpless husband was abusing her – and would even scream for help to trick neighbors into believing it was the case.
It was only closed after a shocked friend of Richard’s saw the nanny’s body cam footage and sent it to the police.
Now the shocking footage – which includes Sheree holding a knife to her husband’s throat – has been released as Richard relives his ordeal in Channel 5 documentary My Wife, My Abuser: The Secret Footage, which is shown on Monday.
The police received a total of 36 video clips, nine telephone audio recordings and 43 pictures of injuries as evidence.
Speaking exclusively to The Sun, Richard says: “Watching the footage, I was emotionally detached from it.
“I see that it’s me and I can see the children in the background.
STAB HIM WITH THE FORKS
“But I feel like I’m watching something about someone else.
“I felt trapped for many reasons. If it wasn’t for my friend, I’m not sure what would have happened.”
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Sheree was eventually jailed after officers viewed the nanny cam footage Credit: atticusfilmtv / Channel 5
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The nanny cam also appears in the Netflix hit Fool Me Once, starring Michelle Keegan Credit: Rex Features My Wife, My Abuser: The Secret Footage
The couple met in a nightclub in 2000 before tying the knot nine years later in Thailand’s Phi Phi Islands.
They bought a nanny cam – like the one seen in Netflix hit Fool Me Once, starring Michelle Keegan – shortly after Sheree, a senior project manager for HM Prison and Probation Service, gave birth to their eldest daughter in 2015.
Richard, who worked at BT in network design, explains: “We had two – one in the playroom and one in the bedroom.
“They were there for security, to keep an eye because it’s a big house.
“He was on something like a 28-day rollercoaster, where if something new came along, he’d delete the old footage.”
He says that after his eldest child’s first birthday, he began secretly saving videos of his abuse as “insurance” for fear of not being able to see his beloved children.
The attacks only started a few months into the couple’s relationship.
Richard recalls: “It started with pushing, slapping, but she would say that all couples fight.”
It got worse over the years. Sheree would stab him with forks, spit on him and lock him out.
During one attack, she hit him with a wine bottle so hard that it permanently disfigured his left ear.
His wife, he says, also controlled him financially and adds: “Sheree wanted to go on a nice vacation, so I had to take out loans.”
“She manipulated me into taking them out in her name. We lived beyond our means.”
He racked up £45,000 in debt and she often refused to pay the bills as an act of “punishment”.
Smaller things caused her to rage.
In one video, she punches a helpless Richard on the sofa in the playroom for not making dinner, growling at him: “Get in there and put that fucking chicken on, you fat whore. Go ahead, you freak. You lazy bitch.”
Richard reveals that he began to notice a pattern of abuse.
He says: “There would be a phase of creating tension, caused by something she was not happy about.”
At 5ft 10in, Richard says he was “physically much bigger and stronger” than the 5ft 5in Sheree. But he reveals that if he tried to restrain her, the abuse would be “ten times worse”.
Richard says: “The way I would deal with physical abuse would be to curl up in the fetal position and put my hands in front of my face because I had to get the kids to school without people looking at me.
“If I tried to restrain her, she would get angry and what would follow would be ten times worse.”
Richard also tried to cover up his injuries with make-up.
One of Sheree’s methods of control was threatening to go to the police and accuse Richard of abuse.
She says she would also threaten to smash her face on the bathroom mirror and send pictures to a friend.
Richard recalls: “She would often open the window, lean out and shout, ‘No, Richard, stop it, you’re hurting me’, so the neighbors could hear.”
Richard’s case is unusual, because although both men and women suffer domestic violence, women are much more often victims of men.
TWIST THE TRUTH
One in four women experiences domestic violence in her life.
The truth only came out after Sheree contacted one of Richard’s friends, claiming he was drunk and she was afraid he might do something.
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One of the horrible bruises Sheree inflicted on Richard Credit: Channel 5
Concerned, the friend rushed over.
When he was alone with Richard, he asked him how he got the bruise on his face – and then Richard came clean.
He showed him one of the videos he had saved, and the friend was so horrified by what he saw that he sent it to the police.
Officers arrived to arrest Sheree in June 2021, and PC Adele Jenkinson admits in the documentary: “When we got to the door I thought we’d gone to the wrong house.
“These videos couldn’t have come from a house like this.”
The documentary also features police body camera footage. It shows Sheree looking disheveled in just a T-shirt and ruffled panties.
After getting dressed, her main concern is what the neighbors will see as they put her in the back of the police van.
She asks, “Quick, can you tuck me in before anyone sees me?”
At the police station, the camera footage shows her trying to flirt with the detention sergeant, asking him: “Are you married?”
The documentary also shows Sheree being interviewed by the police as she calmly and convincingly claims to the officers that Richard abused her.
She continues to twist the truth when they show her a video of her holding a knife.
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Sheree waves a bottle in front of her husband in the footage Credit: atticusfilmtv / Channel 5
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Richard curled up in the fetal position after the attack in the nursery Credit: atticusfilmtv / Channel 5
As she looks at him, initially speechless, she claims that she was so broken that she begged him to let her end her life.
But he looks defeated when the video is replayed with sound, clearly showing that he’s lying.
Sheree was jailed for four years at Hull Crown Court in March last year after admitting controlling and coercive behaviour, along with three counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm.
Judge Kate Rayfield told her the abuse was: “The worst case of controlling and coercive behavior I have ever seen.”
Richard decided to share his story and video to raise awareness.
He says: “Hopefully the reasons for making the documentary will have a positive impact on other people who might be going through something similar.”
He also worked with a charity called the ManKind Initiative, which supports male victims of domestic abuse.
And now Richard has found love again. He says: “I am happy to have met a new partner.
“She is the complete opposite of Sheree in every way.
“She couldn’t have been more understanding.
“What I used to think were feelings of love and infatuation, now I know it’s not love.”
- My wife, my abuser: The secret recording is on the Channel 5 program on Monday at 10 p.m. For more information about the ManKind initiative, go to mankind.org.uk.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: HIS Education