Woman Says She Can’t Make Family Trip Until She Finds Out It’s to Europe — Now In-Laws Won’t Let Her Join

A row over a family vacation has sparked a heated debate online — but who’s at fault?

The parent claims they won’t change their family’s vacation plans to accommodate members who changed their minds about coming after the trip was booked, in a post on the popular Reddit channel “Am I A——” ( r /AITA ).

While the parent, under the username Ok_Clue_6722, was planning a family vacation and asked about availability, their son and daughter-in-law said they would not be available for any of the proposed dates. Because they were unable to attend, the couple was not included in the group conversation dedicated to planning the trip.

“Usually a vacation is something that anyone can drive [to]it will be the same until all the adults agree that the children are old enough to leave the country,” the original poster (OP) read. “So now it’s off to Europe. Everyone bought their tickets, and I booked where we would stay.”

After everything was completed, the son and daughter-in-law heard about the destination of the trip and wanted it back in their plans.

a photo of a family on a trip.

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“[My daughter-in-law] he called me asking about it and what they should do. I asked her how she could leave work, and she explained that she could,” the OP claims. “Personally, I don’t think she wanted to go on the trip until she found out she was in Europe and she lied to me that she could” doesn’t come first. ”

The poster continued: “I told her it was too late, things were reserved and I wasn’t willing to pay more [than] I already did. (I paid for all accommodations. We should upgrade it to accommodate two more adults.) She asked me if I was serious and that it was cruel not to include them on a family trip around Christmas. I told her that it was and that it wasn’t my fault.”

The user claims their son is angry and called the parent a “jerk”. The OP came to the AITA reddit because he “wanted an outside opinion”, but he may have gotten more than he bargained for.

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The community was divided on how the situation could be resolved. Some people think that holding up European vacation plans the way they reject a son and daughter-in-law is only fair.

“First of all, you have already planned everything and if you are [daughter-in-law] DIL really changed everything just because the trip was to where she wanted to go, doesn’t sound good,” one person wrote. “Second, why can’t they pay extra if they want to come? Aren’t they grown up already?” Another offered a compromise by sending his son and daughter-in-law an itinerary and saying if they wanted to join he could join them, but not adjusting the original reservations to accommodate them.

“It seems he only wants to go because it’s a ‘better’ place than previous vacations and because he knows you’ll be subsidizing part of the trip,” wrote a third. “[Your] son and DIL didn’t mind missing out on family time around Christmas when travel seemed less desirable and you planned accordingly. It’s not your problem that they changed their minds.”

passport photo.

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Other commenters said the parents should have circled back with their son and daughter-in-law after the location was finalized.

“It wouldn’t cost the OP anything to text before booking… ‘we’ve decided to go to Italy 12/20-1/1, last chance if you want,'” read one comment. “The fact that the OP didn’t lead me to believe that while they would have included the son and DIL, they were happy to exclude them.”

Another redditor agreed: “I can’t think of the idea of ​​completely throwing them out of a major change in plans from where they ‘drive’ to Europe without mentioning it.”

“Those kinds of trips don’t happen often for a family and I can understand why they might want to move things around to be included,” chimed in another commenter.

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One user had a rebuttal with a useful metaphor: comparing two trips to football games.

“It’s like every year my family goes to an NFL preseason game, I have fun, I know what to expect, but this year I decided to skip it because I want to do something else with my Saturday, only to months later found out my family decided to get Super Bowl tickets instead and I wasn’t invited because I had already said no to the preseason game,” they wrote.

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They concluded, “I don’t think anyone is AH here, I think your son and DIL failed to communicate at the outset about their real reasoning for saying no. Then there was a failure on your part to communicate when plans changed so drastically, and now I think you’re a little petty and they have a point.”

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Source: HIS Education