A DAD OF TWO returned home from work to find his wife had died in her sleep without warning.
Dale Lockwood, 33, from West Yorkshire, found his childhood sweetheart Ruby lifeless in their bed on October 10, 2023.
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Dale Lockwood came home from work last year to find his wife Ruby had died in her sleep. Credits: PA
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The mum-of-two had a rare genetic heart condition called sudden arrhythmic death syndrome (Sads) Credit: PA
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Ruby was ‘a really vibrant character and so full of life’, according to her husbandCredit: PA
The deputy principal of the elementary school desperately tried to resuscitate her, but soon realized that there was nothing he could do.
After 10 months of searching for answers, Dale discovered that his wife had a rare genetic heart disease called sudden arrhythmic death syndrome.
It causes sudden, unexpected death from cardiac arrest, which is when the heart suddenly stops beating.
Now, Dale says he is terrified the couple’s two young children – four-year-old Arthur and one-year-old Winifred – may also carry the gene.
“It’s horrible and it wasn’t expected,” Dale said.
“Ruby wasn’t bad, she had no symptoms, it was a total, complete shock out of the blue to the point that you still can’t believe it.
“In addition to losing your wife, the love of your life and the mother of your children, there’s also the worry that this could happen to your children.”
Despite being trained to talk to children about bereavement, Dale said telling Arthur that “mommy died” was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.
He was supported by the British Heart Foundation (BHF) in his search for answers and in turn raised more than £17,000 for the charity.
SADS, a genetic condition in which someone dies suddenly and unexpectedly from cardiac arrest with no clear cause, affects around 500 people in the UK each year, according to the BHF.
What is the difference between a heart attack and a cardiac arrest?
Dale hopes it will raise awareness and encourage more routine testing and screening to uncover underlying problems.
“I’m trying to make what happened to Ruby count, I’m trying to make it count,” Dale said.
“It’s about sending a stronger message to ultimately prevent this from happening to anyone else – I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
CHILDHOOD LOVERS
Dale and Ruby met when they were 17, working the bar at their local Irish club, and Dale said “things happened quite naturally” and they “never looked back” at the start of their relationship.
They got married in 2019, and had their two children, Arthur and Winifred, in 2020 and 2022.
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Dale said Ruby was an ‘amazing mum and wife’Credit: PA
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Dale said Ruby would ‘light up a room’Credit: PA
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Dale and Ruby met when they were 17 working the bar at their local Irish clubCredit: PA
“Everyone loved Ruby, she just had such a strong personality and persona, she would light up a room,” Dale said.
“She was a really vibrant character and so full of life, she was fantastic at her job and she was an amazing mother and wife.”
RUBY’S LAST MOMENTS
On the day of her death, Dale said Ruby got home from work around 5am and he joined her in their kitchen to “catch up, talk and laugh” before the couple went about their day.
Dale said his wife’s last words to him when he left for work were, “I love you, Dad.”
Ruby dropped their kids off at daycare and went back home to sleep.
Dale said he always did two things before he left work, which included calling Ruby to say he was on his way home and to pick up their kids.
“I got in the car that day, I didn’t call Ruby and I didn’t pick up the kids – I drove straight home,” he said.
I was tormented by thinking ‘could I have done anything’ or ‘could I have saved her’
Dale Lockwood33
“I can’t honestly say why I did it, at the time I didn’t feel anything was wrong.
“When I went up the stairs the bedroom door was open and I could see Ruby on the bed and that’s when I thought something was wrong.
“Her eyes were open and (she) was only half under the covers.”
Dale tried to resuscitate Ruby, saying “panic” and “adrenaline” set in – but “pretty much instantly” realized there was nothing he could do.
He called 911, asked the father to pick up their children from daycare, and stayed with a neighbor for about six hours while officers examined the scene.
He knew, thanks to Ruby’s job as a police detective, that her unexplained death would “trigger an investigation.”
“I knew it was going to involve me because obviously, the husband, the person who’s going to find her, probably the last person who’s going to see her other than the kids,” he said.
“I didn’t feel like a suspect at all, they treated me very, very well.”
‘THE MUMMY IS DEAD’
Dale said the “worst thing I’ve ever done” was telling his son, who was just over three at the time, about Ruby’s death.
“Because of my job, I’m actually trained in how to talk to kids about grief — you just never expect to do that with your own kids,” he said.
“You just have to be really truthful, using the term ‘died’, so ‘the mummy died’…as brutal as it sounds, you just have to be open and direct.
“Not comparing it to finding Rubes, because that was horrible, but then the shock set in, telling Arthur was just raw emotion and he was just sobbing.
“Of all the things I’ve ever done, that will always be the hardest.”
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Ruby completed the Great North Run in 2015. Credit: PA
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Dale said Ruby’s last words to him were ‘I love you, daddy’Credit: PA
Dale said Ruby’s post-mortem results were initially “inconclusive” as no physical cause of her death could be found.
Samples were sent for further testing and the family arranged for Ruby’s funeral and cremation, with Dale saying he was “tortured” by not having any answers.
“I was tormented by thinking ‘could I have done anything’ or ‘could I have saved her’, but not knowing what it is, you don’t have the answers to that,” he said.
RISK IN CHILDREN’S GENES
Seven weeks later, Dale said he was initially informed that Ruby had died of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a genetic disease that causes the heart muscle to thicken, making it difficult to pump blood.
Dale asked for more information, saying it was “crucial” that he did so as he was informed just weeks ago, on August 6, that the cause of Ruby’s death was more likely to be attributed to SADS following further testing of samples taken from her position. -death.
“Some signal within Ruby’s system wasn’t working properly and it just stopped that day,” Dale said, adding that there was a 50 percent chance his children would have the condition.
The family will wait about eight months for further genetic testing to see if a “faulty gene” can be found in Ruby’s samples, which would then allow their children to be screened.
Dale and his loved ones have raised more than £17,000 for the BHF by taking part in several marathons and challenges throughout the year, with Dale tackling the AJ Bell Great North Run in Newcastle on Sunday.
“Crossing the finish line was a joy to cross and as soon as I stopped for five minutes and the adrenaline stopped, that’s when I realized what I did it for,” said Dale.
“I had all kinds of stuff for Ruby on…I actually cut up Ruby’s running vest from 2015 and tied it around my wrist for a little inspiration.”
He added: “Ruby spent her life, her working career, helping people and she was completely selfless.
“If sharing things and raising money makes a difference to one person or one family, that’s enough.”
What causes sudden arrhythmic death syndrome (SADS)?
SADS usually occurs when an abnormal heart rhythm, known as an arrhythmia, is left untreated and leads to cardiac arrest.
Arrhythmia usually causes the heart to beat too fast, too slow, or irregularly. It is usually caused by heart disease that affects the heart’s electrical system.
Sometimes the heart disease that causes the arrhythmia can be inherited. Hereditary heart conditions are often the cause of SADS if left undetected and untreated. These conditions include:
- Long QT syndrome (LQTS)
- Brugada syndrome
- Catecholaminergic polymorphic ventricular tachycardia (CPVT)
- Progressive cardiac conduction disorder (PCCD).
The condition that causes SADS cannot be detected after death because the heart will appear normal.
However, there are several conditions that can cause SADS due to very subtle changes to the heart.
SADS can still be diagnosed because the structural changes are too small to be seen when the heart is examined after death.
Source: British Heart Foundation
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Dale completed the AJ Bell Great North Run on SundayCredit: PA
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